Royally Drunk
by mysterious-song
Summary: When the harsh reality of losing their children seeps into their minds, Snow, Charming and Regina decide to drown their sorrows in liqueur, leading to a very interesting evening when a certain outlaw stumbles onto them. Set in the Knocking Hips verse, this is kind of like a prequel to celebrate the one-year mark. Happy Birthday KH :D
1. Chapter 1

**So... Did You Know You're Knocking Hips With a Killer Queen was one year old today, and to celebrate I decided to write a little thing.**

 **This is a oneshot, set before the first chapter of Knocking Hips, about two weeks into the missing year. I meant to have it finished at least an hour ago but I get distracted so easily so this can be a little belated birthday thing...**

 **Anyway, just want to send virtual hugs to all of those who have been there from the beginning, and a mighty big thank you to everyone who has spent time reading my stuff.**

 **You guys rock 3**

…

Robin had taken to wandering the castle when he couldn't sleep; it usually soothed him, helped clear his mind and also helped him form a mental map of his new home – one that he could never see himself getting used to.

He'd usually just walk along the corridors, taking left turns only so he could find his way back when his mind became quiet, but his thoughts had not ceased, and so his usual path had not been enough, and he had set out to venture into other areas.

The ornate, carved door had gotten his attention, and after spending a couple of moments admiring the woodwork, he had gently opened the door and peeked around the corner, thoroughly surprised at what he found there.

It appeared to be some sort of dining area. The shelves fixed to the wall housed several bottles and cases of what Robin immediately knew to be alcohol. Though the quick glance around left his attention focused on the table towards the right side of the room, there looked to be about 7 bottles on there, with twice as many glasses ranging from the size of his thumb to the span of his hand, far too many for the three people sat at the table.

A mere second was all it took for Robin to realise their identities, and his brows rose in surprise as he took in their state again, bearing in mind that these three (drunken) people were in fact the Prince, Princess and the Queen herself.

Not being able to help himself he stepped into the room properly, closing the door behind him as he watched the trio before they noticed his presence.

The Princess was hunched forwards, resting her head on her forearms and apparently heavily asleep judging from the lack of movement apart from the rise and fall of her deep breaths. The Prince was talking to nobody in particular about everything that came into his head, occasionally taking a sip from the glass of amber liquid clutched in his hand. The Queen was staring into her glass, slowly nodding and humming whenever there was a pause in the Prince's ramblings, and Robin watched as her hand smoothed down Snow's hair and back in a soothing, monotonous rhythm.

Robin leaned back on the wall for a short while, feeling a little intrusive about observing them without their knowledge but not enough to give up the chance to learn a little more about the people ruling the kingdom in which he resided.

When Robin finally made his presence known by the clearing of his throat, the Queen looked up at him, and he was shocked to find that instead of the usual disdain in her eyes it was relief and happiness.

"Save me," she said as she stood and walked over to him. She rose onto her tiptoes, clutching his shirt to keep her balance as she teetered back before leaning forward to whisper in his ear; "he won't shut up."

Robin chuckled, smiling as Regina lowered herself back down to her feet. He noted he had to look down to meet her eye and was confused for a moment before he caught sight of the discarded heels under the table littered with bottles and glasses.

Charming was still rambling about something, and Regina folded her arms with a pout, mentioning something about needing a mute button. Robin didn't quite understand the meaning behind her words but he smiled nonetheless. This was the most carefree he had ever seen the Queen since he met her, and the complete opposite of the image he had built of her from their interactions and what he was used to.

Charming raised his head and noted that Regina was not seated opposite him anymore. He blinked for a moment before scanning the room, finding Regina and pointing at her before starting to talk about another one of his escapades.

Regina turned into Robin, burying her face into his shoulder and mumbling "make 'im shut up" into his shirt before David started to talk about something regarding a ' _terrifying dragon'_ and the Queen was a little louder when she pleaded; "Robin, make him stop talking."

With a chuckle, Robin dipped his head to lowly murmur; "Regina, I doubt I'm in the position to tell the prince what to do."

"I know," she sighed, before a sudden thought came to her and she lifted her head, pointed a finger at him and narrowed her eyes. "It's your majesty."

"Of course, your majesty," Robin humoured, trying not to let his grin get the better of him.

"That's better," she stated with an affirmative nod, frowning and closing her eyes when the room span before she added; "'cause I'm a Queen."

Robin pressed his lips together to stifle the laugh trying to escape. "I know you are, your majesty."

"Good."

He chuckled again, and she opened her eyes to look back up at him with a frown. "What?"

"Nothing."

"You're laughing at me," she whined before pouting and averting her gaze, "that's not nice."

"I sincerely apologise, your majesty," he started, and before he could stop himself he was saying; "you're very cute when you're drunk."

"'C _ute'_?" Her features scrunched up in a way that was definitely cute, bordering on adorable. "I'm not _cute_ ; I'm the Evil Queen."

"Well, I think you're cute."

"Well, I think you're annoying," she quipped.

"I'm offended, your majesty," Robin started, moving a hand to rest over his heart. "I gave you a compliment and got an insult in return."

"That wasn't an insult," Regina insisted; "If I wanted to insult you I'd say you smell like forest."

Robin smirked. "Do I now?"

"Yes," she stated with another ill-advised nod of her head. The wave of dizziness that rushed through her had her leaning forwards and resting her head on Robin's shoulder. The scent of pine and petrichor wandered through her senses and made her feel just that _little_ bit more pleasant. "Though I kinda like that so I guess that's not really much of an insult. Gimme a minute, I'll come up with somethin'"

Her eyes closed as she sighed, her breath tickling the skin of his neck and Robin craned his head to look at her, noting the peaceful serenity of her features. She didn't appear to be thinking of one of her notorious insults, just relaxing into him, and he could no longer fight the urge to grin or raise his right hand to rest on her lower back, subconsciously shifting her just that tiny bit closer to him.

Regina gripped his shirt again, pressing up against him before letting out a sigh and moving her hands to fist in the fabric at his sides, seemingly content with just standing there soaking up his warmth.

His other hand came to cup her right elbow, and his gaze lifted to take in the two Charmings. Princess Snow was still fast asleep, a small lock of hair being puffed away from her nose with every exhale before it returned to the same spot when she breathed in. Prince Charming was cupping his leaning glass of amber liquid to his chest, resting back against the cupboard behind him with his head occasionally falling forwards in slumber before he caught himself and lifted it, only for the process to repeat itself all over again.

Robin felt Regina become a little lax in his arms and he tried to get her to stand straight. Though when he tried to put even the slightest of distances between them she just clung tighter and let out a small noise of discontentment. Robin's brows rose in amusement. He would not have taken the Queen for an affectionate drunk; he expected her to be even more volatile than usual, throwing threats and fireballs at whatever annoyed her. He did not expect her to be petting Snow's hair, humouring Charming's ramblings and clinging to his own shirt when all she had done since the first day they had met was throw impertinent remarks his way.

Still, if Robin was being entirely honest with himself he wasn't complaining; it was nice to see the Queen – and the prince and princess – without the customary sadness that followed them around. Whatever reasons the trio had to raid the castle's liqueur supply that night, it appeared to have allowed them at least a few moments of peace. Lord knows they all needed it.

They also needed to get into their chambers so they could sleep and hopefully stave off the dreadful effects when they awoke.

"Regina," Robin started, gently trying to pry her fingers open so he could take a step back and keep his shirt intact.

He held her hands in his, watching as she realised she was no longer leaning on someone, swaying on her feet and frowning before she opened her eyes.

She glared at him with a look he presumed was meant to unnerve him, but it was so endearing it just made him smile even more.

"We need to get you into bed."

"Excuse me?" The Queen exclaimed, before continuing with slow, slightly slurred speech. "I may be drunk but I'm not _that_ drunk. Just because you're giving compliments and smell good does not mean that I'm going to sleep with you."

Robin chuckled, choosing to brush off the Queen's comments as the alcohol's influence.

"Not at all milady; I am a gentleman, I would never presume such a thing," Robin assured with a sincere smile on his face. "I was merely stating that all three of you should return to your chambers and get some well needed rest."

"Good," Regina huffed, smoothing creases out of her velvet dress before looking back up at him and adding – as if it was even an option; "Besides, I'm a _little_ drunk, so I don't think the sex would be that great anyway."

Robin's mouth went dry as he tried not to imagine sex with the Queen. And miserably failed.

Yes, the Queen was attractive, there was no denying that. And yes, she had this appeal that drew him to her like a lost soul. But that did not mean he should permit thoughts of _that_ nature; it was a recipe for disaster.

Though his determination was short-lived when the Queen returned to smoothing out the navy blue velvet; as her hands ran down her torso and past her hipbones, for a fleeting moment Robin desired to replace her touch with his.

Clearing his throat and averting his gaze, Robin shoved his hands into his pockets, asking; "can you make it back to your room?"

"Of course!" she smiled, before raising her hands as if to magic herself there.

Robin quickly took a step forward into her space and grasped her wrists before she could disappear. "I'm no magic expert, but somehow I don't think that is the best option right now, your majesty"

"You're right," Regina sighed, and Robin lit up at the thought of the woman who frequently found very creative insults to throw his way admitting that he was correct. But he deflated with a chuckle when she clarified; "you are no magic expert."

Robin looked towards the two sleeping royals, stating; "I'll wake the Prince, you wake the Princess."

As he walked past her, making his way towards Charming, he missed Regina's frown as she tried to put her brain in gear to work out what the thief had told her. Then it clicked and Regina whirled around, stumbling a couple of steps when her mind felt like it started swimming.

"Uh, do I _have_ to?" she complained, remembering the times when she had tried to awaken Snow as a girl, and had always ended up with a grumpy child who tested all of her limited patience.

Robin was having none of it, declaring " _yes you do_ " before he proceeded to place his hand on Charming's shoulder and attempt to jostle him to consciousness.

With a long-suffering sigh, Regina walked over to the slumbering princess, praying she had grown out of her distaste for being awoken before she was ready.

"Snow?" she started, placing a hand on the girl's back and gently nudging her. No response.

"Hey, Snow," Regina whispered, pushing a little harder. Still no response.

The Queen's " _wake up_ ," was a little louder, and the jostle stronger. It got a response; a mere grunt as the girl turned her head to face the other way.

Having had enough already, Regina moved to stand behind her, bending down so her mouth was an inch away from the girl's ear and bellowing; "SNOW WHITE!"

Managing to stand quickly – and stumbling once more – Regina avoided the inevitable headbutt as the Princess sprang up into a sitting position, bleary eyes darting around the room before she realised she wasn't in danger and groaned as she brought a hand to her head.

Taking a little pity on her once-arch-nemesis, Regina sat down on the bench beside her, facing the opposite direction, "you should sleep in your own bed, dear; stay here and you'll wake up sore."

Snow slowly turned her head to look at her step-mother, eyes half closed and blinking slowly, muttering an inarticulate; "uh-huh."

Regina couldn't help herself and chuckled, standing and offering a hand out for Snow to grasp as she swung her legs over in a move that lacked the grace and finesse of a princess.

Once they were standing – Snow clutching Regina's forearms as if they were a lifeline – the Queen looked over to her left to see Robin helping an equally drunk Charming to his feet, hiding her chuckle as she turned her head back to the girl in front of her.

"Come on Snow, time for bed."

"Are you going to tuck me in?" the princess asked, her voice so very slow and slurred, her eyes closing as her grip tightened.

"I think you're a little too old for that, dear," Regina started, her mouth curling up at the corners before she added; "and I think that's your husband's job."

"Yeah," Snow pouted, before she sighed and drawled; "I don't think we'll make love tonight 'cause I'm too drunk."

"That is…" Regina started, closing her eyes and frantically trying to push the unwanted, mental image away before continuing; "the answer to a question I didn't ask. And something I _really_ hope I don't remember you saying tomorrow."

Snow's response was something mumbled under her breath that was completely incoherent. Regina didn't bother to ask for a repeat, instead wrapping an arm around her and guiding her towards the door.

Regina felt a weight on her shoulder, and looked down to see Snow leaning on her. The ebony hair tickled her nose and Regina screwed her features in an attempt not to sneeze.

It was at that moment that Robin looked over, catching sight of the supposedly 'Evil' Queen with an arm wrapped around Snow White and her face adorably scrunched up, making him grin and his heartbeat stutter.

"You know, you're really pretty," Snow suddenly stated, wrapping her arms around Regina's waist and leaning more heavily onto the Queen.

Regina smiled, "thank you, dear."

"No, but like…" She started, lifting her head from the velvet covered shoulder with great effort before continuing; "really, really beautiful."

"Snow…" Regina started, slightly overwhelmed and quite unsure as to where the Princess' sudden admiration came from.

Then a petite hand came up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, a quiet ' _the fairest in the land'_ leaving Snow's lips, and Regina ducked her head to fight the blush.

"You, my dear," the Queen started, grasping the hand hovering in the air by her cheek and continuing; "are very drunk."

Snow paused for a minute before giggling, "yeah."

"Come on."

Robin watched as Regina ushered Snow out the door, their path there a drunken curve instead of the straight line the outlaw was going to aim for. Though he was lugging a pretty heavy Charming alongside him and so it wasn't likely; who knew the Prince would weigh so much?

After staggering out the door, Robin let Regina and Snow lead the way; he doubted he could find his _own_ room from here let alone _theirs._

The outlaw was struggling to catch even a few sentences of the women's conversation; the ramblings of Charming was either getting louder, closer to his ear, or a combination of the two. When he saw Snow leaning heavily on Regina and the Queen stumbling a little under the extra weight, Robin was half-tempted to push Charming to the side to help her – and to give his ears a break for a few moments. Though, to Robin's annoyance and David's luck, the Queen righted herself, giggling alongside the Princess as they weaved their way down the corridor.

"Why do people drink alcohol when their depressed?" Snow slurred, apparently deciding to join in her husband's drunken rambling. "Because alcohol is a depressant, so it just makes you _even more_ depressed."

"Yeah, we really didn't think this through…" Charming mumbled.

 _You could say that again,_ Robin thought.

"You know," Snow started, catching the toe of one foot on the heel of her other and outstretching her hand to keep her balance. "Charming is the only member of family that I've managed to keep by my side."

"Wow…" Regina breathed, "and you thought the alcohol was making you depressed."

Charming let out an outcry of "hey!" into Robin's ear and the outlaw winced at its volume, though it lacked the intended bite when it came out lazy and slurred.

Regina looked back and chuckled at the outlaw's misfortune, but when she turned back to Snow she saw a tear fall from the girls' eye, and a sudden, unexpected pang tugged at her heart.

She'd had this earlier; the urge to try and comfort her step-daughter when they had been on their fourth – _fifth? –_ shot. she had stared at the table for a moment, taking another shot because there was no way in hell she'd admit to comforting her once arch-nemesis when she was anything other than completely inebriated, before she tentatively placed a hand on Snow's back. The girl had leaned against her and wrapped an arm around her waist and Regina looked up to charming with wide eyes, unsure what the protocol was when dealing with an emotional, drunk Snow White. Though his idea of _help_ was to smile with a lovey-dovey gaze that made Regina feel slightly nauseous.

They were _way_ past the hesitant touches now; practically joined at the hip from the moment the Princess had stood on their own feet.

Regina would never know what possessed her but something had her offering; "chin up dear, you still have your evil stepmother."

Snow turned to look at her with those wide, doey eyes filled with fresh tears, whispering " _really?_ " before blinking, a hand coming up to rest of her heart in a melodramatic fashion as she added; "we're family?"

"Of course we're family." Regina quipped; "Even when I was trying to kill you we were still family."

"Regina…" Snow started, sounding as if she was one moment away from pouring her heart out in the enhanced emotional state the liquor state had her in.

"It's not as if I have a choice in the matter," the Queen began, wishing to keep the heart-to-hearts to a minimum, "you're too damn stubborn for your own good."

Although Snow didn't go into whatever emotional speech she was intending to – a fact for which Regina was extremely grateful for – she did lean her head on the Queen's shoulder once more, mumbling a ' _thank you'_ as she shifted to wrap an arm around her step-mother's waist, clinging onto her even tighter.

The sweet smile that tugged on Robin's lips won out. Unfortunately, the drunkard that was using him as a microphone noticed, whispering in his ear at a volume loud enough for him to wonder why he was even bothering trying to be quieter; "you _like_ her."

Trying to brush him off, Robin whispered back: "she's your wife, you have no need to worry, mate."

"I meant Regina," Charming stated, not caring for volume until Robin subtly elbowed him in the stomach.

"Somehow, I don't think I'm her type," he said with hushed tones, trying to put a stop to the conversation before it led down a route Robin had no business exploring.

Charming chuckled, turning to Robin with a mischievous smirk as he lowered his voice – and actually managed to be close to a normal whisper this time – and confessed; "She tried to seduce me, you know."

Robin coughed to get rid of the saliva suddenly stuck in his throat. "What?"

"Regina, she tried to seduce me," he clarified, before adding; "I could have kissed her and blamed it on the curse."

"Why didn't you?" Robin asked, unable to stop himself from wondering how the hell any man – or woman for that matter – could ever resist the Queen.

"Because I am _so_ damn faithful to my _lovely_ wife," Charming drawled, waving his hand forward in a vague attempt to point, before his features drew together in a frown as he added; "though I was kind of married to Katherine at the time, so I guess that's a _little_ hyp-hypocritical of me."

"Yeah," Robin agreed, not knowing if this man had fabricated half of his life story that he had just been telling, but not wishing to ask in case he'd be at the end of even more elaborate tales.

Robin managed to halt just in time to not bump into the Queen and Princess, who had slowed to a stop.

Regina turned on the spot, and Snow made an elaborate half-circle still attached to Regina, with her arm outstretched and a small ' _wheeee'_ until she was facing Robin Hood.

The outlaw turned to the Queen, his brows furrowing in a silent question that she seemed to comprehend.

"The Charmings' room is down there, last door on the right" Regina started, pointing to her left. "Mine is straight ahead."

"Aah." That explained it.

"Come on sugarplum, let's go to bed," Charming sighed, reaching for his wife pulling her from Regina's side into his, before making his way down the corridor without a second glance.

The Queen and the thief both watched for a moment, trying not to laugh as the couple weaved and stumbled a little before catching themselves and laughing.

"I'm not _entirely_ sure," Regina started with a frown, before lifting a finger to point at the retreating royals, leaning closer to Robin and lowering her tone to say; "but I think I'm faring better than those two."

"That you are, your majesty." Robin replied, smiling down at her before offering the Queen his arm. "Come on, I'll walk you to your room."

It was a suggestion he made out of gallantry, without thinking, and only after the words left his lips did he realise that he was talking to the Queen and she'd never taken too kindly to his chivalry.

So her unexpected " _okay_ " as she put her hand in the crook of his elbow surprised him.

But then he surmised that this was _drunk_ Regina, _affectionate_ Regina, and since he had met her she had done nothing but surprise him so why should that change now that she was somewhat intoxicated?

Their walk was initially quiet; filled with an unsteady rhythm of footsteps, Regina's soft giggles when she swayed a little too heavily either side and Robin's whisper of ' _sshhh_ ' when her giggles got loud enough to incite movement from behind a couple of doors they walked past.

The outlaw barely noticed the sound of an extra pair of footprints behind them before Regina suddenly put both hands on the arm she was holding, bent at the waist and pushed him into a room he had no idea was even there. The door opened from the weight of his body, and closed with the weight of hers.

Robin looked to the Queen to see her eyes wide and boring holes into the door.

"Uh… What's going on?" He asked, confusion evident in his voice.

His answer was her simple; "I am the Queen."

"I know," Robin quipped, sarcasm in his tone before he added an extra; "Your majesty,"

Without looking away from the door she reached back and whacked him on the arm, drawing a gasp of mock outrage from the thief. "What was that for?"

"You're mocking me," she stated, turning to narrow her eyes at him and add; "Again."

Robin pouted and rubbed his arm. "I do apologise."

"No, you don't."

"So…" Robin started after a few second of silence. "Why have you just pushed me into a closet?"

"Because there's a guard walking by," she explained as if it was obvious, before she put her finger to her lips and shushed himin the same overly childish manner his son did.

All of a sudden she gasped and clutched onto his forearm, eyes widened in alarm.

"Regina? What's wrong?" Robin asked, concern drawing his features into a frown.

"I forgot my shoes," she whined, and Robin had no idea if he wanted to laugh at her or shake her; she had him so worried for a moment.

"Do you want me to go back and get them for you?" Robin offered, before smirking and adding; "as long as you promise to stay out of trouble until I get back."

"Nope." Regina shook her head and flicked her wrist, the next thing Robin knew there was a sharp pain on the top of his head before two soft thuds sounded behind him.

Robin brought a hand up to rub at the sore spot with a wince _– what was it with her and injuring him tonight?_ – before he heard the Queen snigger.

"Are you laughing at me, your majesty?" He asked, his tone warning but playful.

"No," she said, schooling her expression into a serious one before meeting his eyes and sniggering again.

"I see how it is," Robin quipped, bending down to pick up the shoes that had fallen to the floor.

"I'm sorry," the Queen giggled, outstretching her hand and taking her footwear into her own grasp, looping the straps around two fingers.

Robin raised an eyebrow, asking with suspicion; "are you?"

The Queen was emphatic in her nodding, before the room started spinning again and a hand shot forward to clutch his shirt, another wrapping around his bicep.

"I think I drank too much," she moaned.

Robin could not help the sympathetic sigh as his left hand came up to cover the one she had on his chest. "Come on," he started, "the guard must have walked past by now."

Regina sighed, leaning into him and humming in affirmative, making no move to actually do anything else.

So… It appeared it was up to Robin.

His hand reached for the metal ring on the door and pulled, moving backwards to make room for it to swing all the way and pulling a stumbling Queen with him.

The giggles resumed as soon as the Queen misjudged a step and Robin nearly crashed into a wall in his attempt to balance them both. Her quiet _"oops"_ and the way she bit the corner of her lip had Robin chuckling as he drew them back to a somewhat straight path.

"How come some moments I feel drunker than others?" Regina suddenly asked, her voice louder than she'd intended judging by her wince.

"Because now you're not taking care of the princess you're focusing on it," Robin offered, watching the Queen's feet as they occasionally crossed over each other in her drunken haze.

"Ahhh, right," she started, before turning to him and inquiring; "So am I _actually_ this drunk, or do I just feel it?"

"I don't know, your majesty," Robin smiled, "I have no idea how you feel."

The Queen was quiet for a moment, apparently trying to work out the answer herself, before Robin heard a quiet; "Sad."

His smile fell from his lips in a heartbeat as he turned to look at her, catching sight of her pained expression, softly asking; "Why?"

One of her shoulders raised in faked nonchalance. "Once again I have nothing."

"You don't have nothing, Regina," Robin started, but before he could continue he was interrupted.

"My entire world is in New York."

"I know," Robin stated, "but whilst your boy may mean everything to you, Regina, there are people here who care about you, more than I think you know."

"Are you going to tell me you care about me now, thief?" she asked incredulously, her right brow rising in disbelief.

Robin's mind stammered for a while. He didn't want to see the Queen get hurt, and he'd gladly go out of his way to try and make her a little happier. Was that caring about her? Probably. But he wasn't sure that confessions such as those would be wise at this point.

"I meant you have the Prince and Princess; they're family, you said so yourself." Robin started, before adding; "and it's not as if the entire Kingdom hates you anymore, your majesty; you have friends here."

He saw Regina slowly nod out the corner of his eye and felt a little triumphant that he had gotten through to her, but then he saw tears clinging to her lashes and his heart felt heavy.

Before he knew what he was doing, Robin had halted their path by moving to stand in front of the Queen, asking; "You are drunk, yes?"

"Yes," Regina sighed. "We've been through this."

"So you're not likely to remember much tomorrow?"

"I hope not," Regina frowned, recollecting Snow's musings on the activities of her and her husband and then shuddering.

"I hope so too."

Regina frowned even more so as she looked up at Robin, confused as to why he wasn't keen on her remembering either before she noted he looked slightly nervous. She tilted her head in question.

Robin took in a deep breath and held it for a moment, on the exhale he confessed; "I care."

At Regina's slow blink as she straightened her neck, Robin hastily continued; "I mean you're… You're nothing like the image of the cold, heartless, Evil Queen everyone paints; you're human, a mother. No parent should ever have to go through what you are."

Regina pressed her lips together, closing her eyes and letting the tears that once clung to her lashes tumble freely down her cheeks. Robin couldn't help but lift his hand to wipe them away.

Not for the first time this evening, Robin wondered if this was something the royals did often; numb their minds with alcohol when reality became just a little too harsh to deal with. It was something he had done frequently after his wife's passing, and whilst it provided temporary relief, it had not aided him in the long run at all.

"I know you're sad," Robin started, trying to choose his words carefully, "but I don't think getting yourself into a drunken stupor whenever you feel like this is the best solution."

Regina gradually opened her eyes, keeping her gaze lowered to the forest green fabric on his torso in front of her as she slowly shook her head.

"You could talk to someone," Robin suggested, smiling as the Queen's features scrunched in apparent disgust. "Do something creative? Artwork or music perhaps, just something to keep your mind occupied." Regina tilted her head in thought at that one. Not a definite 'no' then.

"Can I set someone on fire?" She asked, and Robin's eyes widened in shock before he found the slight mischief hidden behind her gaze.

"No," he chuckled.

"Not even Grumpy?" she asked slyly.

Robin frowned, "which one is Grumpy again?"

"The grumpy one."

"Thanks for clearing that up," Robin quipped with a roll of his eyes.

Regina chuckled, her head lowering as she smiled.

"That's better," Robin said softly, crooking his first finger and using it to tilt her chin up so he could see her smile and give one in return. He took note of her shining eyes, her blushed cheeks and her perfect teeth framed by perfect lips, and he couldn't help but confess; "I love your smile."

He watched as her eyes dropped to his grin, desperately wanting to know what she was thinking, because now he was looking at her red lips he felt an unnerving urge to lean forwards and kiss them.

Whatever her thoughts were, they had the Queen ducking her head and moving to walk past him, bumping her shoulder into his.

With a smirk, Robin wondered if she had the same unexpected urge he had, the one that Robin may have entertained were it not for the fact that she was clearly intoxicated.

Robin's smirk faded. _What was he thinking?_ She had just lost her son, had just drank goodness knows how much alcohol – with people she had spent half her life trying to kill – in order to try and numb the pain, and he was thinking about _kissing her?_ Gods, he needed to get his priorities straight.

Besides, it wasn't as if a kiss was even within the realm of possibility; she was a Queen, and he was nothing but a common thief.

So, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, Robin continued down the corridor, trying not to enjoy the warmth spreading across his side from where Regina leaned into him.

It wasn't long before the Queen slowed and came to a stop in front of a door ornate with carvings and precious metal somehow woven in to the patterns to enhance them. If it wasn't for her warm smile drawing his attention, Robin would have stared at it for hours.

"Thank you," the Queen said, her tone quiet.

Robin tilted his head. "For what?"

"For being nice to me," she shrugged, before letting out an ironic huff. "It doesn't happen often."

"Well then I shall be nicer to you in the future," Robin vowed

She brushed his offer off; "You don't have to."

"I know," Robin stated, before adding; "but I want to."

Regina's smile was warm, something Robin had rarely seen from her before tonight. It was something he'd like to see again.

She took a step forward and rested a hand on his chest, moving closer to him, and Robin's heart pounded in his chest as his mouth went dry.

Was she going to kiss him? No. Surely not. The Queen would never entertain thoughts of an outlaw such as him. But she was drunk. Very drunk. Drunk enough to tell him she liked how he smelled, and open up to him, push him into a closet and cling onto his shirt as if she could not bear to be parted from it… Maybe she would… Possibly…

Her face moved past his, and the next thing he knew, Robin felt her soft lips come into contact with his left cheek. She lingered there for several seconds, her lashes tickling his skin and her breath ghosting over his ear as Robin let out a small sigh as his eyes closed at the warmth spreading through him.

When she lowered back down from her toes, Robin suddenly felt cold and he tried to conceal the shiver travelling down his spine.

"G'night," Regina breathed, moving to the large, mahogany doors and pushing them open before turning back to him, asking; "could you check on the Charmings before you go bed? I don't want them passed out in the middle of the corridor."

"Of course, milady," Robin replied, inclining his head.

"Thank you," Regina said, and somehow Robin knew she wasn't just referring to his new babysitting duty.

"Any time, your majesty."

The Queen smiled, holding his eyes as she closed the doors until the moment she could no longer see him.

Robin took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. This was not how he planned his night to go; he had expected a quiet walk, then getting into bed and tossing and turning until sleep dragged him under. He hadn't expected an evening of stories, laughter and the Queen.

The Queen who had asked him to check on the other two royals, he remembered.

Right, he'd go and check on the Charmings. And then – to ensure she was alright – he'd return to Regina. A subconscious part of him vowing he always would.


	2. Chapter 2

**I got a prompt on tumblr for drunken kiss in the missing year, and KH is the only verse that my brain can work with in the missing year and a continuation of this seemed like the best idea. So yeah, set directly after chapter one (after Robin had been to see the Charmings).**

…

Robin was not prepared for the sight the greeted him when he pushed open the doors to the Queen's chambers.

He had been expecting Regina to be tucked under the covers, the copious amount of alcohol he knew she had consumed pulling her into deep sleep or at the very least to the edge of slumber.

But no…

She was sat on her bed in a short, silk nightgown, her knees bent to the side as she rested one hand on the mattress, the other holding the pages of a book lying out in front of her. Her long, dark tresses flowed over her shoulder, and without the harsh colours that painted her face, the so-called 'Evil Queen' almost looked like an entirely different person.

She hadn't noticed him; too busy furrowing her brow in that adorable pout as she concentrated on whatever was written in her book.

Robin softly cleared his throat, preparing to receive a fireball as a greeting - which wouldn't be the first occurrence - but thankfully (and rather unexpectedly) he was treated to the sight of another of Regina's rare, warm smiles - albeit a slightly hazy one.

Deciding to test his fortune, Robin made his way over to Regina's bed, tentatively raising one knee to perch on the edge of the mattress, ready to leave if the Queen so desired.

But she made no move to send him away; her head had dipped back towards her book, strands of hair falling into her face that Robin couldn't help but tuck back behind her ear with a fond smile. One which she returned.

For all of the times Robin had left the Queen in fierce irritation, when one too many of her jibes had hit too close to home and made him unable to endure her company for a second longer, there were such moments as these where when he would gladly spend hours in her presence. He didn't even require conversation; he'd happily just share space and time with the monarch who intrigued him more and more with every passing day.

Though she had other ideas tonight, asking him in a slow - still somewhat slurred - and rather raspy voice; "the Charmings get to bed alright?"

With a wry chuckle, Robin recollected the sight of the Prince and Princess completely passed out on their bed, wrapped around each other without even bothering to climb under the covers or change into sleeping clothes.

"Indeed; they're fast asleep Milady."

"Good," Regina smiled, and Robin regarded her with a tilt of his head.

"Pardon my asking," he started, "but is there a reason _you_ are still awake?"

"I'm reading," she stated matter-of-factly.

"I can see that, your majesty," Robin chuckled. "What is it that your book is about?"

Regina took in a breath as if to reply, though she held it for a second before releasing it with a bemused; "I have no idea."

Robin couldn't contain his laugh. And when Regina looked up at him, she started to chuckle too, her eyes bright and shining even though they were somewhat glossed over.

She'd suffer in the morning, no doubt. Would most likely wake up with a pounding headache and a dry throat, but Robin had to admit that she was a lot more amicable when less than sober - and he'd get her a glass of water before he went to bed anyway.

"You should get some sleep, Milady," Robin suggested with a small smile.

Regina nodded and pushed her book to the edge of the bed, though she misjudged the distance and her hand slipped on the silk sheets, necessitating in Robin suddenly reaching forward to grasp the Queen before she fell face first.

The giggles she released into his shoulder as she grasped his shirt were the definition of adorable, and Robin felt his heart swell.

"Yeah… I need sleep," she agreed as she pushed herself upright again, bringing a hand to her head and carding her fingers through her hair. Robin had to push down the urge to do the same.

"To bed with you, your majesty," he softly ordered, unable to resist tapping the edge of her nose and watching it scrunch before he prepared to stand and leave.

Though his intended journey was halted with a hand over his and Regina's gaze freezing him in place. Her eyes were searching his for some kind of answer, but before Robin could even get to question what was wrong, she had leaned forwards and pressed her lips to his.

 _Well… that was unexpected._

But any sense Robin once possessed faded, and his hands rose to frame Regina's face, tilting her head and sighing into her kiss. His lips recaptured hers the second there was any space between them, and if there was any doubt that he was becoming tangled up in feelings for Regina, Robin damn well knew for sure now.

For all the harsh retorts, firm actions and hard exterior that belonged to the Queen, she was kissing him with an undeniable softness that he was quickly becoming addicted to. Her fingertips just brushed over his thigh, and her other hand gripped the sleeve of his shirt as she shifted in an effort to get even closer to him.

It was when his tongue sneaked out to brush against hers that sanity returned to Robin. He could taste the alcohol on her.

 _She was drunk. What the hell was he doing?_

"Regina, wait," Robin mumbled against her lips, not getting chance to protest again before his mouth was reclaimed with just a little more determination than before.

Regina was making it very difficult to even think about pulling away, and the more sounds she released against his lips - the little sighs and moans and whimpers that went straight to his groin - the more strength he had to build to put any amount of distance between them.

But in the end, the guilt nudged him back into chivalry, and with a sigh Robin indulged in one more kiss - then another one after that - before his hands held her head in place and he drew back a few inches.

"Regina… we can't."

The Queen slowly opened her eyes, meeting the thief's gaze for a couple of seconds before her expression fell and she looked away.

"Sorry," she started, her voice quiet, "I thought… I-"

Realising that she had completely misread his reasoning to stop, Robin assured her; "it's not that I don't want you, Milady - because believe me; I do."

Regina frowned, and now that they had officially crossed boundaries of personal space, Robin traced a finger over the furrows in her brow.

"Then why…" She started, biting the corner of her lower lip as Robin's fingertip traced the slope of her nose.

"Because, whilst I would love nothing more than to take you right here, I want it to be your own decision," he explained. "Not because you were drunk, not because you felt as if you had to, but because you choose to."

Tears gathered in Regina's eyes, and Robin felt his heart drop. Had he said something to hurt her? He was trying to do the right thing. He was trying to be honourable and let the Queen be fully in control of her actions before he let things between them go further.

He got his answer though; her quiet confession of " _you'd be the first_ " which left many implications hanging in the air.

She wasn't upset; she was touched by his gesture. And Robin hoped that he never got his hands on any of the people who had hurt her in such a way; prison didn't suit him and public execution was not the way he wanted to go.

Twisting a lock of raven hair around his finger before letting it fall back down to her shoulder, Robin managed to lighten the atmosphere by stating; "besides, I'd rather like to have an attempt at seducing you first, Milady."

"You're welcome to try, thief," Regina chuckled, resigning herself to the fact that the only thing accompanying her to bed that night would be her drunken, fuzzy head.

"Another day, perhaps," Robin declared as he stood, pulling Regina to stand with him before he reached past her to turn her bed covers down. "Your royal bed awaits, your majesty."

With a smile, Regina let herself be tucked into bed, pushing down the voice inside her head telling her she was too old for such childish behaviour and enjoying the simple affection that she had learned to live without.

The kiss to her forehead almost resumed the tears, though she held them back by sheer force of will and eyes screwed tightly shut.

"Goodnight, Regina," she heard, before the thief walked away, and she suddenly felt a lot emptier than before she'd had Robin's company.

Sleep pulled her under rather quickly, and when the Queen awoke it was to a pounding headache, a glass of water on her bedside cabinet, and no recollection as to who put it there.


End file.
